Hacked
Dan was 92% finished hacking into his local bank. He
thought he was going to do it without getting caught. However,
hacking the bank's programming took longer than anticipated. It took him
four months to hack 15% of the bank’s protective software. Suddenly
all the lights went out. Dan’s computer shut down leaving
one message out in its darkened screen:
Error: Hacked client
found, shutting down in 3 seconds.
“Oh, frick!” Dan cursed in anger. All of a sudden, Dan’s apartment door
burst open. Armed men came in, shouting.
Dan surrendered and the armed men brought him outside his apartment.
Maybe in this sentence, He thought he had done this without getting caught. You could change it up a bit to read, He thought he was going to do it without getting caught. Re-write this sentence, He was finally able to hack into the bank’s programing, but it took him way longer than expected. To read, Hacking into the bank's programs took longer than he had anticipated, but he was finally able to accomplish it.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteI think that the dialog that you added is not needed. But it is a good story.
ReplyDelete